Judgment vs. Judgmentalism

 It’s time to set the record straight on something misinterpreted by many individuals attempting to justify their behavior in their own eyes.  It’s time to define a couple of words and clarify some context. 

First, making a judgment (decision) about something or someone is not necessarily the same thing as “judging” or being “judgmental.”  Every day we must make important judgments on issues of all sizes.  We have to make a judgment on whether we smell bad enough to warrant a shower or a fresh coat of deodorant.  We have to make a judgment on whether we want our coffee black or if we want one of those mocha latte thingies (or whether we like coffee at all—yuck!).  We make a judgment as to whether we like that new hot song that they won’t quit playing on the radio.  We make a judgment on whether we think it is safe or not to talk on the phone or text while driving (obviously some judgments include a bit more wisdom), or whether we think someone else should talk on the phone or text while driving (often applying a double standard). 

The point is, we make judgments all the time—everything from church to sex to money to alcohol to drugs to style to personal preference.  Does this make us judgmental?   Does it mean we are judging people?  No.  It means we are making decisions for ourselves or for those for whom we are responsible. 

Where black and white seems to turn to gray in people’s minds is when we start making judgments that affect others.  For example:  say a student comes to me and tells me about his friend Jack who is constantly getting drunk, smoking pot, sleeping with anything that has two legs, getting into fights with anyone he has a disagreement with, and has dropped out of school.  This student says he plans on spending the weekend at this guy’s apartment. 

Am I being judgmental about Jack if I suggest that it doesn’t seem wise for this student to go through with this plan?  No.  But I am making a judgment call—I’m making a decision about the wisdom behind this student’s current plan of action.  Does it mean I am making a judgment about Jack?  Yes.  His track record does not suggest that he is a safe person to be around.  Am I being judgmental?  No.  I’m not “passing judgment” suggesting Jack is a worthless “no-good.”

Now, say the parent of this student hears about his son’s plans for the weekend and about Jack and tells his son that he is not allowed to follow through with these plans because Jack could be a bad influence.  Is the parent being judgmental of Jack?  No, the parent is making a wise judgment for a son for whom the parent is responsible. 

You see, making a judgment call or decision is not the same thing as being judgmental.  Being judgmental is passing judgment on another individual.  If the parent said, “Jack is nothing but a hellion destined to serve as Satan’s pitchfork holder because he’s a lying, thieving, alcoholic, druggy, adulterous son of a gun” then the parent would be judgmental.  In his mind, he has already doomed Jack to the pits of hell instead of seeing Jack as someone lost and in need. 

This is the key—when we “judge” people or “pass judgment” we are deeming them as worthless—a lost cause!  We are suggesting that they could never be more than they are.  We are saying that Christ’s blood won’t cover them.  This is the danger of judging.  It is at this moment that we’ve thrown away a child of God—something God doesn’t even do.  See how God postpones judgment to the last day—it is all in the hopes that His child will see His light and respond with repentance and find salvation in the work of Jesus Christ. 

We must make judgments about people’s behavior as right or wrong.  Otherwise, what basis do we have for a standard for ourselves or to suggest morality as far as murder, rape, theft, adultery, etc.?  If there is a morality in the greater things, why wouldn’t there be a morality in the lesser things?  The problem is when we make allowance for each person to determine right and wrong for himself or herself (as we are finding in a culture of “relativism”).  In such an environment, no one can be held to any real standard for every person determines his or her own according to his or her own whims.  Therefore, we must find THE standard for everyone. 

To do so, we must first make a judgment as to what is right and wrong to begin with—a standard for ourselves as well as everyone else.  This standard should be chosen from an external source, rather than made up from one’s own imagination so that no person can set himself or herself up as the supreme morality by which all are judged.  Such a standard is found in God’s Word, set in the life of Christ.  That standard helps us all recognize our failures and walk in humility and address concerns in humility.  It is through that judgment that we can recognize other’s lost condition and then seek to be used by Christ to help them find Him.   

It drives me up the wall when I hear people, even “God’s” people, misuse scripture to condone their own or someone else’s behavior.  It would seem that the favorite catch phrase for this is the ever familiar passage:

Matthew 7:1-5

“Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. 2 For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. 3 Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye. 

 Which is also found in

Luke 6:37-42

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

39 He also told them a parable: “Can a blind person guide a blind person? Will not both fall into a pit? 40 A disciple is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully qualified will be like the teacher. 41 Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your neighbor,‘Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s  eye. 

 Let’s look at the context here.  First,

“Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. 2 For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.

 What would happen if you publicly confronted another’s behavior?  The first thing people are going to do is look at you.  “Who is she to call her a liar?  She’s lied to me more than once.  She’s got no right!”   We see argument for this in the context

3 Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your neighbor, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye. 

This passage is not suggesting that we not make judgments about other’s behaviors, and it’s not even suggesting that we not confront them with it.  We know this because of other passages in Scripture:

 Matthew 18:15       15 “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.“

 John 7:24             24 "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” 

I Corinthians 5:12-13              12 “For what have I to do with judging those outside? Is it not those who are inside that you are to judge? 13 God will judge those outside. “Drive out the wicked person from among you.” 

I Corinthians 11:13                13 Judge for yourselves: is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head unveiled? 

I Timothy 5:20                     20 As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest also may stand in fear.

 Hebrews 3:13                     13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 

 James 5:19                         19 My brothers and sisters, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and is brought back by another, 20 you should know that whoever brings back a sinner from wandering will save the sinner’s soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. 

So what then is the point?  The point is to not “pass judgment” on others—to prematurely condemn them, count them as worthless, or count them as a lost cause. 

Romans 14:13             13 Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another.

The point is to approach any judgment with humility, grace, integrity, and honesty.  It IS to admit one’s own failures (see the log in one’s own eye) and seek reconciliation before one attempts to reconcile another (take the speck out of the other’s eye).  It is to NOT go around pointing fingers at others destroying their character in community.  It is to NOT engage in name-calling and slander and all kinds of dissension (likely for one’s own gain.)  It IS to put one’s self into the other’s shoes and pose the question, “If I were that person, what would open my eyes to the Truth and help me see my way to the cross.”  It IS to have the mind of Christ that says, “I’m concerned for this person’s well-being, and I pray to God that He will use me to bring a healing hand into this person’s life.” 

Romans 12                  2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect. 3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among younot to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

If we spent more time making good judgments for ourselves and those we are responsible for than passing judgment on others, the world would be a much more peaceful and happy place, and our lives would glorify the Savior leading others to His salvation.

 At the same time, if we put down our defensiveness and recognized that our brother is our keeper, we might be able to see that sometimes people aren’t pointing fingers in judgment, but are in reality exercising love in attempting to guide us or protect us from harm.  In Proverbs, it says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.”  Sometimes our friends (or family) say things that seem hurtful when in reality the wisdom found within might prevent us from greater harm and deeper scars.   Besides, such defensiveness often simply shows that deep down inside you know you are wrong, but you don’t like being reminded.  The next time you’re ready to blurt out, “You can’t judge me—only God can judge me” stop, take a deep breath, and realize that the person may simply be making a statement of judgment that may actually prevent you from the need for God to judge you. 

Judgment and imposing beliefs:

Some may read this article then and say, “But aren’t you imposing your beliefs about right and wrong on another if you make judgments about their behavior?”  Yes and no. 

Some say it is wrong to impose one’s beliefs on another.  If I believe it is right and good to share my beliefs on a given subject, then isn’t the person charging me with imposing my beliefs on them now imposing their beliefs about its wrongfulness on me?  

The problem with belief and morality is we cannot help but impose them on others (in this definition of impose).  It is the nature of belief and morality.  If I hold wholeheartedly to a belief or morality then it is my duty to stand for that belief or morality.   It doesn’t mean I have to ram it down someone’s throat, but it does mean I should be free to state it and defend it. As it has been said, “He who stands for nothing will fall for anything.” 

But what really is imposing.  Is it not the forcing of a belief on another?  Am I doing that?  Am I pointing a gun at someone’s head requiring them to agree with me?  No.  I am simply stating my perspective and view on the matter and acting accordingly; just as they have the freedom to state their view and perspective on the matter.  Hopefully, we can both come to the table like adults and have a peaceful conversation.  In all likelihood, neither of us will change our minds, but we might grow as people learning to respect one another in maturity.  I know my mind will feel more at ease simply having been able to plant a seed.  I don’t mind being disagreed with—I just want to be heard. 

Again, some will turn and say, “But your belief says that if I don’t believe what you believe I’ll go to hell, therefore you are imposing your belief on me because it has consequences and is thus forcing me to make a decision.”  First, that’s putting words in my mouth I didn’t say—when did I mention hell? There are dozens of different interpretations within the Christian belief about heaven and hell and who goes there, but I have not yet stated mine. Don’t assume. Second, any confrontation between one belief and another requires making a decision.  If an individual has already made up in one’s mind that one does not believe what I believe, then what do they care IF my belief states that if they don’t accept it they will face the consequences of hell (which I never said)?  They’ve already determined they don’t believe it, so why do they care that hell is in the equation unless they feel the weight of some instinctual Truth about hell bearing down on their hearts? 

Thus, it would seem that they don’t only want us to stop “imposing” our beliefs (which is no real imposition at all) but also to shut up so that they can live blissfully in ignorance without the reminder of that weight or the fear it entails. 

Sadly, they are missing the point.  Faith in Christ was never supposed to be about heaven and hell and who goes there and who doesn’t. It was supposed to be about building a heavenly kingdom here and now. It was supposed to be about teaching humanity to live in such a way that life no longer seemed hellish, but instead seemed heavenly. It was supposed to be about freeing us from that which brings death (our own self-centeredness/selfishness) to that which brings life (a selflessness that makes sure everyone’s needs are met). Instead, we warped it into fear mongering to make people feel holy (set apart) without actually being holy (set apart by living as Christ).

This kind of fear of God lies in a misunderstanding of what faith in Him offers.  Let me close with a clearer understanding of what God is offering. 

7 Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God's love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.

 13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and do testify that the Father has sent his Son as the Savior of the world. 15 God abides in those who confess that Jesus is the Son of God, and they abide in God. 16 So we have known and believe the love that God has for us.

 God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Those who say, "I love God," and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. 21 The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.

1 John 4:7-21 (NRSV)